Anger for sale - my top 10 most infuriating TV ads
It seems to me that nearly every ad on the box these days tries to annoy you into buying their products. Whether it's irritating jingles, weird puppets or damn right nonsensical industry jargon, ads seem to be more ridiculous and unbearable than ever before.
Before you start shooting me down, I'm well aware that for many advertising agencies this is exactly the intention. They want to invent situations so ridiculous or so grating that you can't possibly forget them or their brands in the future. They become part of your subconscious so that the next time you come to get insurance, sell your gold via mail(!) or use a search comparison site, their logo is etched well and truly into your brain. Whether you like it or not.
But this has got me wondering: does this mean we're more likely to buy their products? I, for example, dislike Gio Compario, the star of the Go Compare ads (see above), so much that I would rather pay more to use another brand that doesn't make me want to kill.
I admit I'm probably fighting a losing battle because I'm sure they're here to stay. They're obviously working because there are more and more. So, instead, I'll give my top 10 most hated TV ads. And if there are any that you think I've missed, let me know using the comment form below. Enjoy.
1. Go Compare
When this ad comes on the telly, a chemical reaction in my brain systematically makes me reach for the remote and mute the volume. In fact, it's a good job I don't own a cat; otherwise it'd be in orbit. The annoying jingle, the bad jokes and the awful acting make this the undisputed number one. Thousands of people agree with me, as this Facebook group confirms.
That jingle. Like 1,000 mosquitoes eating away at you. It's like they've appointed Crazy Frog as creative director. The words don't fit the melody, yet it sticks in your head somehow, like a horrible virus simultaneously eating away at your brain and your will to live. So painful that, if there is a hell, I think the DJ would be playing this tune on repeat.
3. Swift Cover
You'd be forgiven for thinking that the main reason I
dislike this advert is because Iggy Pop, once an icon of punk music and the
anti-establishment, has sold his soul and image for a quick buck. But you'd be wrong. My
hatred is derived from that hideous and obnoxious little puppet that plagues them.
It would give me great pleasure to boot the mini-Skeletor off a bridge. For
Iggy, I can only imagine that he cries himself to sleep in the arms
of his puppet, wondering what on earth he has become.
Daytime ads are littered with injury claims ads but this is probably the pick of the bunch, if you know what I mean. Companies with "4U" in their name already scream tackiness, but this one's extra special. "We are 100% lawyers," he says. No, you're not. You're an actor who used to be in the Bill. And 100%, as opposed to a 50% lawyer? One who presumably spends half his time stacking shelves? Nonsense.
OK, so it was a clever concept initially, if somewhat annoying. Now, however, it's been milked till it's as dry as the Sahara. At first you thought, "Oh, look, how cute and quirky: a little meerkat with an Eastern European accent. And look how disgruntled he is." Now, though, they've tried to develop his background and character, mistakenly thinking we cared and, to be honest, he's well overstayed his welcome. Not only that; the ad has spawned one of the most annoying catchphrases of recent years: people saying "simples" at the end of any explanatory sentence. (Please don't say this to me. Ever.)
6. Churchill
I love dogs. When I walk through a park on a nice day and see the pure joy in their faces as they run uncontrollably, exploring anything and everything, it really brightens up my day. The smug-faced nodding Churchill dog, however, envokes the opposite reaction. Not even a series of washed-up celebrities such as Eddie the Eagle, Roy Walker and Rolf Harris can do him any favours.
7. WKD
"Do you have a WKD side?" No, because I'm a bloke so I don't drink girls' drinks. No matter how much you want to model your brand on Danny Dyer, WKD will always be a girl's drink. The ads were never funny, but now they're really scraping the bottom of the barrel for the lads' "banter". Now just being fat, Welsh and sat in a sauna is the height of the japery.
8. Halifax
I don't know whose bright idea it was to get 'regular'
Halifax workers to star in their TV ads, but they were wrong. The regular folk have (perhaps wisely?) given up trying to run a building society and have instead taken to radio DJing and destroying pop songs with painfully tenuous links to Halifax products. Thankfully, I'm not one of their customers, but for their sake, I hope they're not as patronising in-branch as they are in
their ads.
9. BT Vision
BT Vision don't get all the perks that you get if you're a Sky Sports customer; that's why it's so much cheaper. So maybe it's no surprise that for a second-rate sports package you get second-rate footballers promoting it. Three of the four footballers are well on the downward slope in terms of ability and three (Wes Brown, Shay Given and Michael Owen) can't even get into their team's starting eleven. Not even goofy Kris Marshall, star of the BT Adam and Jane ads, can save them.
10. Lloyds
This wins the award for the most annoying background music.
It sticks in your head and, hours later, someone near you asks what that pesky
little tune is that you're whistling. Not only that, the animation focuses on
some rather creepy-looking, long-nosed weird families. It's like Pinocchio grew up and had kids. And, as Gepetto or any biologist will tell you, that couldn't have happened.
Reply